Sabotaging behaviors will kill your performance on the stage – whether you are singing or speaking.  These are the top sabotaging behaviors I see in my students along with tips on how to shift the behavior so you can really shine.

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  Comparing yourself to others

  There is nothing more disheartening than looking at your role models, successful friends and colleagues, and even your “competition” and seeing yourself come up short.  Comparison is a powerful sabotaging behavior because it seems easier to focus on what other people are doing instead of what you’ve accomplished yourself.  Instead of always comparing yourself to others, try comparing yourself to where you were 5 years ago, or 6 months ago, or even one week ago.  Find the things to celebrate about your journey rather than beat yourself up over the things you haven’t yet accomplished.  The “Look at how far I’ve come.” approach always feels much better than, “Look at how far I have yet to go!” A coach of mine recently told me to “Be where your feet are” instead of where I wish my feet already were.  There’s so much more to celebrate in the now!

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  Needing it to be perfect

  Perfectionism will stop your forward progress every time.  And even if intellectually you admit that it will never be perfect, the need for you to know more, to be better prepared or to have practiced more before you get up on that stage or deliver that speech will keep you waiting around for greatness.  We all have to start from where we are today.  But we have to start.  It won’t ever be perfect.  But you will learn and get better.  Remember where you are today is where someone else wishes they could be now.  Be a beacon, a leader, and an example to those that follow you.

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  People Pleasing

  People Pleasing
  

  As a stage performer, I get it.  There’s nothing better than a standing ovation after months of hard work putting together a performance.  We want the audience to be happy.  But when we are worrying about what our mom or our best friend is thinking when they are watching us instead of what we are doing up on that stage in the first place, we’ve lost our true purpose.  Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting others to be happy, ultimately, you have no control over what others think or feel.  Deciding to make yourself happy by doing what you love not only helps you, but everyone who knows you and comes in contact with that positive energy.  Try pleasing yourself first by consciously deciding to have a good time

• Not Knowing Your Big Why. 

  What motivates you to get out of bed every day, stand up on a stage, speak to a group of people, or share your gifts with others?  Is it the desire to help, inspire, motivate, or move others in some way?   Is it the applause, accolades, and opportunities?  Why do those things motivate you?  When you do what you love and you are clear about why you do it, your audience, clients, friends (insert person of choice) connects with you more authentically.  You become more charismatic and influential.  Your joy is easy to see, and people want to get to know you. Start making a list of all of your potential big whys today!

• Focusing on the Negative.

  It can be frustrating for me as a teacher when a student focuses on everything they didn’t do perfectly instead of all of the things they did really well.  I’ve seen a student sing an entire show with several songs, and all they focused on after it is over was how the high note didn’t come out quite right.  What about all the other songs that were fantastic?  Our perception of our own performance is often much lower than the audience.  Performers feel mistakes are obvious, when most people don’t even know they happened.  How wonderful would it be to happily list several wonderful things you did, and focus on all the accomplishments, basking in the glow of a job well done?  Focus on the positive first.  Make a list of things if necessary and be in a state of gratefulness.  Then you can work on any improvements you’d like to see.